Back to work..

Aft wat happen.. Its back to work today.. I tot by keeping myself busy i will b better.. I was wrong.. v wrong( like always) Tears formed when i reach harbour front mrt station n when i board e shuttle bus to e hotel.. Gg back remind me of u.. The hotel.. E place where i know u, c u almost everyday, e way u smile whenever u saw me walk past and tat voice of urs.. For the past few weeks, everytime i walk past the FO counter my head will juz turn.. Looking 4 u.. N whenever i dun get 2 c u, my heart jus sink..

Today u work night shift.. I been wondering e whole day.. Do u still hate me? Can we still b friends? But how? I really miss u n whenever i think abt u n him i feel stupid.. Really stupid.. I dunno if u will totally ignore me when u c me or juz smile at me? But i doubt u will forgive me..

Its sunday today.. Every sun i would receive ur sms on ur schedule 4 next week.. But as of today, tat will nvr happen..Today i saw my schedule.. Mon tue off, wed to fri 8-5, sat 10-7 n sun clear my ph.. i wanted to sms u this.. But then i ask myself.. wat will u said? do u even care? I guess u will juz delete tat sms.. Juz like i wanted to sms u good morning.. hai..

On e way walking back hm, i stopped.. Recalling so many things tat happen.. I juz feel like dying.. Go kill myself or get knock dw by a car.. Silly? Stupid? I dun think so.. waiting 4 some1 is a v torturing thing n i make u waited 4 so long.. Too long in fact.. By e time i realise hw important u r to me, u r gone. Gone 4 good..

Juz saw ur blog.. "10th april is a happy day".. If u truthly love him n is happier w him then all I can do is b happy 4 u.. This day is a day i will remember e rest of my life... 10th march 08.. The day i join this hotel.. E v place i know u.. 10th dec my birthday.. Guess every birthday it will juz remind me of wat happen.. 1 mth ago we were still meeting up, gg out.. 1 mth later things change.. To e extend tat its almost like a free fall 4 me.. Since wat happened ytd.. I been asking myself.. If only i can go back time.. Juz this once.. I will 1 2 go back to tue.. E v last day where i went out w u.. I would knee dw n ask u 2 b my gf..

There are so many sorry 2 said to u.. E only thing i can said now.. But i doubt u care.. Xindai if u ever read this post.. All i 1 2 said is losing u was e biggest regret in my life till now.. I'm sorry for making u wait 4 so many mths.. Sorry 4 making u leave starbucks alone when my classmates were abt to arrive.. Sorry for cancelling e appointment w u n meet up w my friends instead.. Sorry for ignoring u when u r online.. Sorry to make u cry so many times.. Sorry sorry sorry.. Aft all e sacrifice that u have made for me ( more than any1 has) I still disappoint u..