We talked yesterday.. Or rather she was the one who wanted to talk and get back together but I did not said anything.

I know that was the chance for us to get back again.. But why didn't I? I can only said is this time round I'm unsure.. I miss her, I still love her but the thought of us going through all of these over and over again is unbearable for me..

As much as I want to be hug her and tell her that everything is alright, I didn't. The only thing that is in my mind now is for her to go back.. I can't give her the happiness she want nor do I want her to suffer here.. Selfish thinking? I guess so.. I guess I just do not want her to go through everything over and over again. She has suffer enough for the past 1.5yrs in this relationship.

Time for me to be a man let her go. I know she will feel very hurt and I really do hope she hate me but at the same time I hope she understand that all I want is to see the smile back on her face. Been with me for the past 1.5yrs has been very stressful to both of us. The only reason why till today I can still handle all these partly is because my family, friends and everything is here.. Who and what does she have? She do not even have a house which she can call home..

I do not know if she will resign and go back but I do hope she will. At least leave this sad place, back to a place where it would bring back her smile.

The only way to feel better is to blog.. A blog which no one will read but I know when I look back I will remember all those things that happened..

I really wish I can tell her I'm sorry for hurting you so much. Although I still love you, it's this love that make me so heartless to let you go..In the hope that you will live a life happier than been with me. I know now you will know not feel this way but I just hope that 6 months to a year from now, you will enjoy your life better than been with me so that all these that I have done would be worth it.