Stare blankly into the sky.. Something I nvr done before.. I saw the emails she sent to me... Sometimes I ask myself.. Did I make the right choice in gg into this relationship?

I always wish there is a time machine which allow me to go back in time to correct the mistake that I make.. This time I really wish there is one.. So that we would not be so hurt..

To patch or not? This sentence has been in my mind the whole time.. 1 side said yes the other said no.. My no factors out-weight the yes. I really don't what to do or said..

Never call anyone or inform anyone expect dropped zhenzhen a text about our broke off. I don't what is stopping me but maybe I just want to be alone.. Go to a place where I can be alone but I can't..

Planning to get marry.. Something I never though of till her but in the end I have to force myself to let everything go.. It really hurts alot. I know how much I'm hurting her too but I really hope some day she will understand.. For now, I hope she will remain strong.. Texted her last night and the only reply I got was "I will take care of myself and thanks"

I know she is still crying. I really wish I can go over and give her a big hug and tell her I still love her. I just do not know why am I torturing both of us. Am I making the right choice?

Everything feel so different.. So empty inside me.. No one to look forward to. Just work to keep my busy from staring in space and feeling sad..