A Night

It came where i least expected.. So unexpected tat i was so lose.. B4 tat I need to said sorry to all those who were at e ktv today..

To my dear Min, I have said wat i can said to u since day 1 till today.. If aft thinking through n u really feel tat our r/s is not the most important, then tell me.. Said to me u dun 1 this r/s.. Said u r nt happy in this r/s.. I will let u go.. I really will.. I will even said out tat sentence juz bcoz u 1 me 2.. Coz i dun have a choice..

As of today, its been 1mth n 4days.. I know it haven't been a smooth ride but e time we had was something I cherish so much.. So much more than any1 i had been with.. E effort u put in I can send tat u love me juz tat there is too many "but" n "wat if" in ur mind.. I dunno shld i prepare myself 4 e worst or not.. Mayb if i did then i would blame tat y my life is always so unfair.. Y my love life cannot b like others?.. Y is it tat when i put effort in it i cannot achieve the happiest for me n my love 1?

I love you. . I really do.. I realise tat for me nt been angry w wat u did tonight, I know tat I love u v v deep.. All i can do now is wait n wait..

First Month

I know i got a few entries on of the same kind.. Talking abt first or 6th mth together with my gf.. So wat so different from this compare to the rest of that I have to blog? To the eyes of others, every r/s of other people is almost the same but to the eyes of the couple, there is always a diff in every r/s.

In a mth, every1 has so many days, so many hours and for a couple it will always b their "honeymoon" period. I wun disagree on this. This v r/s w Min or Cat (as some of u know) is rather different from all e girls tat i have been. Altot been together in a r/s is a v happy thing n during this period how most couple would have so many "ups" that they slowly they would take each other for granted.. My r/s w Min in juz a short 1 mth, allow me to experience the lowest n highest point where a r/s can go.

My pass entries explain all of the above. I know 1mth is a short period n like she said, we still do not know each other tat well but at least we know how we can built on this r/s, hw to handle things best suited for us and this r/s. From got feeling to like to loving each other, its something I feel we have come a long way too.. We dun spend as much time together as much couple can but 2 reach the stage where we r nw, I believe nt many couple would understand or be like us in a mth time.

How we celebrate this 1mth ytd? nothing much, juz a simple NATM(night at e museum 2) aft work. Having our own time is already something we will appreciate moreover we r watching a show e 2 of us like. Nothing beats spending quality time w some1 who u love n doing things tat e 2 of u like.

Thanks for trusting me and this r/s Min. Hopefully we can keep adding more 1mth to it.

Bad Mood?

Hmm mayb i sound fierce 2 u.. Mayb it seems like i blame u 4 everything.. Mayb u might think everything is bcoz of u.. I dunno.. Sms u also nvr reply.. Ask u wats wrong on msn but u seems v impatient..

Mayb wat i juz type isn't wat u r feeling or thinking.. I dunno.. All i really 1 is a hug from u today.. I tot i could have a hug aft work from u but knowing tat ur sis is waiting 4 u I decide i rather juz go hm then take e train w u all..

I dunno if u understand.. but its nt i dun 1 2 c u or join u all to take e train back but ur sis has been waiting 4 u since 530.. i can't possible ask u all to wait 4 me till 620 or later right? Like u said, i'm taking bus home from amk so y must she wait 4 me when she is already waiting 4 u 4 so long already.. N andy is waiting 4 u all at amk at 645... I dun 1 u 2 have a hard time explaining to ur sis this n tat..

Since last week aft exam, i been trying ways n mean to meet up.. but i realise tat its so tough.. u r so busy over e weekend.. n weekday u will go back w ur sis aft work so i can't send u home.. E most we can only meet up once a week 2 go out provided u r not tired.. I'm nt blaming u or wat.. Mayb i juz need to say it out.. to let u know wat i am thinking.. This r/s isn't easy.. Mayb sometime all i need is a hug from u n sayang me like a little baby to make me feel better.. Be it hw e r/s goes.. I really hate u telling me mayb we wun even b together, we would not last.. i know its a fact but y is it tat we must b reminded of this thing every day,every week...

I really wish tat u i can have a hug from u nw or even a call from u.. But but hai.. "I dun chat w u la.. U sleep early"... ya.. sleep early.. do i have e choice? u already said it out.. Aft wat happen at work i tot at e v least i can have a chat w u tonight...

Back From Batam Trip

reach sg at abt 7pm last night.. Hmm my first time gg to a spa.. i would said i really enjoy.. Eat n eat n eat on e first day w "live" fish, crabs n lala.. omg.. 5 person only abt sgd 30.. Hmm if possible mayb we will arrange another spa trip in 3 mths time..

Pre weekend Trip

hmmm 2am in e morning, I shld b sleeping coz i b gg 4 a short weekend trip to batam 4 spa massage n i need 2 work in e morning.. Well juz 1 2 blog abit..

Went to hortpark last weekend w nic, charlie and Min.. Had dinner at handle bar.. Long time since i went there... I fun n exciting trip.. Will go there again if have e chance..

hmmm I juz came back from bookscafe w Min juz now.. Been super long time since I last go there.. Shld be at least more than 6mths liao.. I still miss e sofa seat n quiet moments of e place.. Hmm wonder hw Min feel abt tat place.. O did i mention tat its top of list of favourite chilli out place? N w my netbook, its juz make it even better..

OK guess tats all i will blog for now.. Hmmm will miss u v badly n thanks for today.. I really enjoy e time we spend together..

Post For Fun

Yeah.. Last paper of for this sem.. Finally.. I manage to survive this through this paper.. I really really hate exam.. I can study n learn but i juz hate exam.. waking up super early juz to study n rush through last min of revision.. Hmmm in a few more mths i need 2 do everything over again.. well for now.. juz enjoy e free time till lesson start again on jun 8th.. Hmm there is so many things i 1 2 blog but i juz lazy.. Mayb i will blog more if i got more time.. so many things i need 2 get it done n up coming so many movie to watch.. This weekend i b gg to batam 4 spa massage.. heehee.. For now i juz hope i tat will b able to spend more time w Min b4 sch reopens n b4 her mission trip..

Ok tats all 4 today.. super lazy to type.. time to play some game..

Morning SMS

653am.. To receive an sms at tat time from u was e most surprise thing up to date.. I nvr expect tat.. Wake up to check did i overslept n i din even ask u 2 do it.. Touch.. e only word i can use to describe my feelings... Thanks alot Min..

A Decision

So many things happen in a day.. Too many.. Last night u said it out 4 e first time.. No matter hw i prepare myself, i was still nt ready 4 it.. I held back my tears.. Talk to u in a calm n senseable manner.. Finally we hug.. Whispering 2 me at e moment:" I decided.. I can't let u go.. I dunno hw to let u go yet.." I tot at e moment e hug would b my last hug 2 u.. I know i shld b feeling on cloud 9 aft hearing tat sentence to me but i was also having this frighten feeling... Afraid tat u would take it back n try 2 let it go again.. Now, all i 1 is juz 2 b happy w u n make u happy.. I wun 1 2 think abt all these..

U told ur mum abt us!!! Like u said u really surprise me.. Been w u isn't easy, tat i admit but been w me isn't easy too.. E surprises tat u give me all e time is really making this r/s so interesting.. I know for sure I din make e wrong decision.. Thank you my love..

First Time

Love u.. That was wat u text last night.. I tot my eyes were playing trick on me.. Smiling to myself to sleep, I believe tat wat u said last night was something deep from your heart.. I still remember u forbid me to said these words.. Even aft i was allow to use them :) i know 4 u 2 said something like tat it wun b easy coz u need 2 really feel it juz like hw i feel..

No matter wat doubt u always have or wat u can't overcome, I strongly believe tat one can't lie to his/her own heart...

For me, aft wat happen to me n xd i told myself from then on, i wun lie to my heart.. I will follow wat my heart said.. Its nt an easy task too coz there is so many external factors tat will affect a person thinking or decision but if we r determine n go 4 e things tat we strongly believe in then we wun have regret n will always b happy.. Be it wat ppl think or other external factors, when u can prove 2 ppl tat e decision u make is abt u been happy n not abt wat they think, they will accept e facts n no other factors can make u change ur mind on this..

2weeks into e r/s.. Aft wat u told me, i can't help wondering.. Our r/s really can't stand up 2 e test? Y is every1 opinion so important? Y is it tat been happy in this r/s is so difficult? I dun blame u 4 all these nor am i finding fault at u.. All i ever 1 is 4 us 2 b happy.. As i grow older i become more n more selfish.. I believe tat r/s is abt 2 person only n on1 else.. If these 2 person r not happy then y b in a r/s.. If they r happy then y care abt so many other things? How many time have we been so happy in our life? I hope when i blog again, it would b something happy..

EXAM

Second paper only for tmr.. Then fri third n e following wed last 1.. Hai.. I really Hate exam.. but wat to do.. if 1 2 study then need to take exam.. Till now i haven even study at least half for tmr paper.. To make things worst, i need to work tmr.. can only apply for half a day.. Think tmr paper up e lorry liao.. Cannot throw smoke like e first paper.. lol...

Juz 1 2 let u know tat I was extremely worry when i heard tat u were sick ytd.. i know i can't do anything n will nag at u but i hope u will understand.. Hmm was so happy tat at least i get 2 spend a few hrs w u ytd...

Sometimes i will ask myself, how much u miss me? Hw strong is ur feelings 4 me? Hmm I din ask coz i know there wun b a direct answer.. I can't compare feelings 4 feelings.. coz every1 feel different towards every1.. Saw wat u said on ur blog.. It feels good to know tat u listen to my thoughts n feelings but sometimes i juz feel tat u can make ur own decision. I guess e main concern i been having these few days is, is e r/s putting a strain on u? is e r/s causing u 2 lose focus on wat u 1 in ur life? I juz hope tat this r/s really dun affect ur studies..

As much as i love u n miss u almost everyday.. there is something tat i nvr tell u coz i'm scare.. Scare tat it will come truth.. But i guess i juz blog it today coz i know u will read it.. If u really feel tat u dun wish 2 have this r/s 4 watever e reason is then b frank n let me know.. Dun say things like u will hurt me or I am reluctant.. Coz it sure will hurt n nvr will i b willing.. Like i always said, I juz 1 2 c e happy n cheerful u..

Past

Yr 2006, the yr i start this v blog.. I din realise its been so long till cat told me e other night.. I remember i started blogging aft i broke off w zz.. hahaha..

Of all e exs, I guess e only 1 who dun really read my blog is mery.. All along i feel tat a blog is a like an online diary juz tat e different is ppl or friends get 2 read it.. I nvr really mind tat for I always have this tot "If u 1 2 blog then be prepare to let others know".. I nvr even bother abt wat my exs (at e time is gf) will think when whenever they read my blog.. To me i always feel tat i got nothing to hide..

For yrs, i nvr tot of deleting any entries juz for my exs or even for xd esp when they dun like or dun feel good when they read abt my past.. Altot i felt tat nic did a great job as a bf to delete his blog juz 4 charlie, i nvr really understand tat..

I almost went to delete my blog entries e other day but I din.. I wun said i'm glad or wat but at tat moment i really understand y did nic wanted to do wat he did.. Aft listening to how cat felt e other night aft reading abt a few of e entries tat i wrote, i really wanted to juz delete e whole blog or rather delete all e past n juz keep wat is blog abt she n me.. Stupid it may sound but I feel tat if she will 2 feel better this way then its worth it..

Ytd she told me she dun 1 2 read my past entries.. Its so wordy n there is so many entries.. "Wat past is already past" she type this to me on msn.. I smile.. She is e first gf tat actually told me tat..

She always said "Dun treat me so nice or give in to me so easily Fred, i dun wish to take u 4 granted".. I dun think its possible 4 me nt 2 treat her nie or give in 2 her.. Yes i agree tat sometimes her temper is not v good but up till now, I dun mind.. She has nvr really lose her temper at me and altot she tend 2 demand things, I'm more tat willing to give.. Coz all i 1 is her 2 b happy for this 1mth plus.

Ytd she put e word marry me on msn.. i was surprise but i know she was juz joking.. I told her, if i get 2 choose i would 1 2 marry her.. hahaha.. Sometimes i really ask myself, wat is happening to me.. E old fred would nt even 1 2 talk abt marriage but here i am thinking of hw much i 1 2 marry her n wishing tat day might come true..

Zz ytd scold me n idiot coz she said u will know a person better by talking to her.. I told her not every will give this feeling 1 n doesn't mean u talk to 2 person 4 long u would know e other person better.. For her i really know her better..